You're An Exquisite Human | {THE AND} Topaz & Justin

In This Video

Topaz (he/him) and Justin (he/him) have shared a close friendship for 16 years. Humor and laughter are integral to their bond, and they consistently find ways to enjoy each other’s company. They complement each other’s personalities and skillfully draw upon love, communication, and support to navigate their differences as human beings. They effortlessly balance lighthearted moments, spending hours cracking jokes and sharing laughter, with delving into profound and meaningful conversations that explore the depths of their thoughts. Their familiarity with each other is so profound that, at times, silence is all they need to communicate. They’ve got each other’s backs at all times and this unwavering support is a cornerstone of their beautiful friendship.


We're running behind.
But if we can have lunch at two,
if we can cut it at 2:20.
So, 50 minutes.
We can crack this out so fast.
Oh, I'm sure.
Well, just maybe
well, we could spent
there's ten questions each.
Oh, we'll figure it out.
You cool?
You cool.
- Cool. - Yeah, I’m cool.
(Both laugh)
Oh, good question.
Hm, yeah, yeah.
If for some reason
I lost all my memory,
what's the first thing you'd tell me
about us?
Fuck if you lost
your memory, I'd be like, Listen, dude,
you're one enigmatic,
mysterious, charismatic,
And I
don't really know why
we're such good friends.
I don't know why I'm
in your life so much.
But maybe it's because I'm a good anchor
and I'm a good hearted person.
I would say something like that.
I would say
that just to
remind you that you're like
this flying kite of
luminance and creativity and
and insight and love.
You know?
And that
I think in our relationship,
I'm like the one holding
not holding the kite, but
watching the kite from the ground.
I don't feel like I'm
flying around with you
like maybe your other friends.
I feel like that.
So I would say that's our current dynamic
but maybe I want to be up there
flying too, you know?
I'd say something like that.
What would you say?
(Both laugh)
This is being recorded, um.
(Both laugh)
We're playing
We're playing {The And}, not Honest X.
Wait until the cards start changing.
I would
You're very grounding.
You're a very solid person.
Um, and yeah, I can be a little bit,
I guess like kite
flying around a little bit airy fairy
and you always,
I think with everybody, you
um, connect
to the core of what's really important
and the kind of subtext of emotion.
That's your
Yeah, you have a very good skill set of doing that.
And I also just love being around you
because you have a great laugh.
Great— ah!
You make me laugh, brother.
You have a good laugh too.
And we're just like,
yeah, we're just a good team.
Feels good to be with you.
Yeah, yeah.
Why am I in your life?
Yeah, why do you
why do you think I'm in your life?
Like, why do you think our souls crossed
in this lifetime?
I think, uh
If it’s a good joke
say it.
But— (laughs)
I think it's just
it's just we're in each other's lives
because it's meant to be.
It feels right.
It's never
It's never been awkward.
We're always
easy communication with each other.
Mm hmm.
It’s kind of like
I wonder now
if it's a little bit like,
you know how important
my brother is to me.
Who I've never met.
The oracle.
Hey, he's real, I swear.
- I wasn’t home-schooled alone. - But I think about him a lot.
I'm like, What does he look like?
Does he look like a lot
like your mom?
Does he look
‘cause you look a lot like your dad.
You know what? I think about him a lot.
And I'm wondering about
when is the universe going to align such
that I have the opportunity to meet him?
You know?
I'm sorry about that.
No, no, I think
it's like he,
you know, has been such
an important influence in my life.
A lot of who I am today is because
of him.
But he and I have had a little bit
of a more
challenging relationship
or our relationship has been challenged
in the last maybe five,
six years.
Um, and so
maybe you've kind of come in
because I need that brother.
What's the pain in me
you'd like to heal
and why?
I'll keep that brief
because I know you're private
about that stuff.
And, uh.
I'll just say that
if you were, uh.
I don't know what it is, but I know
I think I know where it exists.
It's the family constellation.
Father, son, mother, brother.
Like, there's something in there.
And I don't pry,
and I don't even want to.
You know.
I know that is your space,
and I respect your space, man.
And I know that there's
a sensitivity there.
There's pain, and whatever it is,
I wish I could
support it.
And I think we had a conversation briefly
two weeks ago at the fire
where, like
I offered.
Something in that realm.
That's also maybe why
that's maybe where we are in our life,
because I might need your help
in the future when I,
when I face, uh
the father son thing.
Um, I don't know how
I'm going to react when my dad goes.
I might need your help.
I got you.
I got you.
I got you, man.
Fuck you, Barbara Walters.
Thank you.
When have
you see me the—
Yeah, when have you see me
the most vulnerable
and what did you learn from it?
So there are a few times.
one is in
relation to your father.
Uh, and
I, it's not a specific moment,
but there have been multiple moments
I would say that
you're just as good,
if not better.
And you don’t need to overthink that.
The other time is
which we also discussed by the fire
a couple of weeks ago.
That's the first thought that I went to.
Was that whole week, right?
And like
Which is interesting because,
you know
because actually that when I think about
why am I in your life is like
or we're in each other's life, you definitely
you played a key role
that week.
The way you handled
that was a real
blessing in my life
because you didn't try
to give me security.
You allowed me to continue
to be insecure and flail all around,
but you had this exuberance of love
and understanding
so that even though I was flailing,
I was still loved.
And that process, humanity.
that is a very
like, incredible
high level of support.
Respect, man.
If we had never met,
in what ways would life be different?
Oh, I think
they would be pretty different.
I wouldn't have a really good example of,
so what I instinctively,
intuitively felt in believe,
I wouldn't be reinforced,
you know?
By you.
And also
the surfing of the universe
and the life and the yes to things
and the openness
and the creativity and the passion.
And in knowing that
that life could be lived,
I wouldn't really have that reference.
I think if I didn't have that,
I would be more constrained, less open,
less adven— like less
You know? So I think you open up
that part and is like
offering me a blossoming.
And I really appreciate that, man.
It's like a breath of fresh air.
It's just a...
I need it, you know?
Otherwise I get stuck in here.
I think it's the same.
I would like
Doing {The And} with my mother
was a pivotal,
pivotal moment,
- I think, for - Really?
because we're so private.
- Yeah. - Right.
It was the first time we,
you know, I went into it
and I was like, the only way it's
going to be
it's going to work
is to be truly open and honest.
And that was like a
like the first step
in cutting the suture.
All right.
Wow. Really?
What in our friendship
are you most grateful for?
Every cell in your body,
everything that you embody
as a person.
Every missing hair.
You’re right.
Oh, it’s good ‘cause you save
a lot on shampoo when your traveling.
No shampoo.
It's really, it’s good.
We're not fighting over it
in the room.
No, you're
just an exquisite human.
And you're
You're like a
you're a megaphone of emotion
for a lot of people
in understanding themselves.
Yeah, it's
I mean, look at this.
- What you've created - It’s pretty cool.
and all of the impact
that that's had as well.
So and, uh
your laugh.
I love you.
Hey there.
Thanks so much for watching.
If you enjoyed that conversation
and want to ask these questions
to your own friends,
check out {The And} Friends
Edition card game.
You can find it